Posts Tagged ‘A Day In The Life’

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Title Schmitel

March 13, 2013

I was not particularly popular in high school.

I was not particularly UN-popular . . . I was super-involved and very committed, but never quite seemed to be in sync (Ha!  90s joke!) with most of the people I was in school with*.

 

This has led to an interesting phenomenon.  The rise of Facebook means that I, like approximately EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD, am friends with at least 67% of the humans who also endured the humiliation of shouting TROJAN PRIDE! at our hometown football games.**

And now, having caught, killed, dismembered, distributed, and buried any semblence of a lede, because YAY, WRITING SKILLZ!, I shall get to the point.***

I have reached a point where I am likely to post utterly random, semi-stream-of-consciousness, amusing-myself inanity on Facebook when I’m bored or avoiding work or disinclined to be productive (aren’t those things synonymous?).

I use Facebook because Twitter still scares me a little (Edit myself to 140 characters while still appearing clever?  NOOOO!!!) and because most of the people in my Twitter feed are professional industry contacts that I respect and hope to earn respect from.****

Most of the people in my Facebook feed, on the other hand, have firsthand knowledge of my lifelong ambivalence towards pants#, so they bear the brunt of my un-edited cogitational downstream.
Generally, I know who will like certain things.  Once in a while, persons unknown-except-as-yearbook-names pop up with an LOL, and the effect is . . . a little ridiculous.

Like, put on a curtain-as-a-cape-and-fly-around-the-house-‘cuz-clearly-I’m-now-awesome ridiculous.  Like, please-ye-gods-don’t-give-Ali-that-much-validation ridiculous.

Like, seriously-Ali-you-don’t-need-to-write-an-actual-blog-post ridiculous.

‘Cause I did.

 

 

 

*I also suspect this is true for anyone maintaining a body temperature of 98 degrees in high school.  (Too labored?  Yeah, probably too labored.  Great. . . now I gotta get back street cred.)

**Generally, we were losing.  It got kind of hard to take.  (OMG, these puns are NOT getting better.  Please, someone stop me . . . )

*** What point?  POINT BREAK!  Boom!  ANOTHER 90s joke! Because all things lead to Point Break!  (Seriously, can we get a doctor?  Nurse?  Night watchman?  Compassionate bystander transfixed with horror at the impossibly unnecessary carnage?  Anyone?)

****This shall not, however, prevent me from cross-posting this blog on Twitter because Consistency. (Any professional-type Twitter link-clickers, please go ahead and ignore absolutely all of the terrible, terrible jokes I’ve made thus far, and shall continue to make for the remainder of the piece.)

# Also chairs, elephants, the state of Montana, and low-frequency sounds.  (This . . . actually, this is entirely true.)

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Monstrously Dorkish

October 25, 2012

EXT. NIGHT.

FRANKENSTORM looms in the distance, menacing grey and blue clouds stretching evil fingers over the cowering city.

ALI steps into the night, wearing a white lab coat, goggles, and sensible rain boots.

Lightning flares.

ALI: (cackles)
IT’S ALIIIIII-VE! ALIIIVE!

The collective world *facepalms*.

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A Quick Psychology Lesson . . .

June 15, 2012

First thing you should know–I have a pet peeve about badly characterized fan fiction.  If you want to play with the known boundaries of a character, by all means explore the ways that psych ping A will lead to reaction B.  That’s where most of the fun is . . . but you *must* *must* *must* sell me on the grounding of the premise. 

Second thing you should know–I haven’t read Fifty Shades of Gray, and I only made it through the first two books of Twilight.  So, a lot of my skepticism about both stories comes from an admitedly uninformed position.  However, I deem it highly unlikely that the author would have been able to sell me (no matter how amazing the discount) on the concept of the Edward/Bella characters evolving into the premise. 

It’s not like I’m a die-hard cynic.   Liz and I used to play the game all the time–“would you buy the characterization if I did *this*???  What about at *this* price?”

“Oh, you’ll love this fic . . . just suspend your disbelief from the nearest tree before you read it.”

Sometimes you have a bridge too far.  Sometimes you have a nifty thought experiment.

Which leads me to my Friday afternoon activities.  When I get bored, I sometimes have BAD ideas.  Other times, I feel compelled to undertake ridiculous dares. 

See below.

Reading CNN articles about Fifty Shades of Gray:
BAD IDEA

Reading the comments in CNN articles about Fifty Shades of Gray:
BAD IDEA

Reading the below comment in CNN articles about Fifty Shades of Gray:

Julian
Sorry, but the popularity of the book is messed up for many reasons. First of all, the whole idea that it is Twilight fan fiction is dumb. I mean you take a story, take out the vampire part, change all the personalities and names, and somehow that is related. Heck, it’s like Star Wars fan fiction about some guys living in New York.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

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It’s like Madonna! Madonna! Madonna!

March 16, 2012

I did it.

Just got back from my first training run . . . for my first 5k!

Yeah, I'm pretty amazed myself.

 

And because we all know that I can’t start a project with anything resembling sense, I chose one that’s only a month away.

What???  Nic said I should be fine.

Okay, no, so that’s not persacktly what she said.  The conversation actually was more like, “Um, that’s kind of soon.  Are you sure?  If you want, we’ll plan something together for next time you’re here.”  (Clearly, she sees me as a person in dire need of close supervision an inspirational figure.)

Then I told her where the run was, and *that’s* when she said. . .

“Yeah, you’ll be fine.”

Because she understands that NOTHING is more properly motivated than . . .  er . . . a properly motivated me.  Ahem.  Yeah.

I would SO pay extra if they had a plane take off behind us during the run.

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Wuzzles, To Me!

March 7, 2012

This morning, I declared war on those bitter divide-y pieces in grapefruit.

The Face of the Enemy

The Face of the Enemy.

In a surprise ending, I won.

Yeah, kinda like that.

What a twist!

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Hearts and Flowers and Fuzzy Bunnybees

February 17, 2012

Ahhhh, Saturday. . .

Another day, another opportunity to pencil “Oral Surgery” in on my calendar.

For someone who lives in mortal dread of dentists, I’m on first-name basis with an alarming number of them lately.

Luckily, my frequently-overwrought coping skills have risen to the challenge, and decided that these little. . . interludes. . . are nothing more than montage sequences from the inevitable biopic of my life.

I’m quite convinced that the payoff will involve me turning into a superhero in the third act.

Like this.

Like this.

Or maybe a Jedi.

Yeah, probably a Jedi.

Yeah, probably a Jedi.

In the meantime, there’s a pool going to see how many times I will say to my roommate Saturday*:

“Doctor’s orders. Been sewn up onna face, sir.”

I will probably also attempt to convince her of my awesome mutant powers, and that I should definitely be allowed to go to the party Saturday night.  Only one of these things will be a good idea.

 

Woo!

*Sadly, my roommate does not read Pratchett. Luckily for her, though, me on drugs is ALWAYS hi-larious.

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What Ever Happened to Those Stamps, Anyway?

February 15, 2012

Ahh, the heady days of high school, when my friends and I would edit sound clips into hysterical conversations and swap them back and forth on floppy disc as a kind of pre-exam good luck charm.

(Seriously. The disc was a 3.5, lurid yellow, and some bright spark had decorated it with a X-Wing vs TIE fighter marker-stamp battle. No idea who that could have been, of course.)

The final line in each one was, without fail, Vader saying “All Too Easy.”

For good or ill, that has become the defining sound of victory for me.

Why does the internet need to know this? Three very good, very solid, very necessary reasons:

1. I miss those files. Or, perhaps, I miss the days when those files presaged the heady exhilaration of blitzing through an exam.

2. I feel it lends credibility to my pretensions of mega-geek status, something that is sorely challenged in our current meme-of-the-week and techno-super-highway world. (I sometimes find myself sticking to the techno-two-lane instead.)

3. It’s stuck in my head today.

Why? I thought you’d never ask.

I compiled my February writing to-date, and was pleased to see I have twenty-one pages. Considering I’m only writing about 30 minutes a day, not too bad!