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Questions of a Strategic Nature

March 29, 2009

Scenario:

The good guys have something on the bad guys.

(For our purposes, let’s say our heroes have the evidence, and they want the poor innocent bystander the evildoers have taken hostage.)

“Okay, I’ll deal,” growls the leader of the bad guys. “Meet me at the arcade at two o’clock, and we’ll make the switch.”

Everyone knows what’s going to happen next. The bad guys will, of course, be planning to ambush the good guys, so a squad of goons will arrive at the meeting site early to get set.

Our heroes, of course, anticipating the bad guys’ tactics, will have also already arrived and set a counter-ambush to the ambush.

So here’s my question. . . if the meeting’s set for two, how do said groups work out the timing? Goons get there at 1 or 1:30? Good guys, needing to be earlier, hit the site at noon? Ahhhhh–unless the bad guy leader, being of a devious disposition, sends his thugs out at eleven, guessing that even good guys double-cross at a neutral meeting site?

At what point does the madness end? ‘Cause, eventually, someone’s camped out in a tree with an Uzi, a thermos of coffee, and a sleeping bag.

And why don’t we ever have that awkward social moment, when the good guys and bad guys pull into the parking lot at the same time, about four hours early, blink at each other across their steering wheels, then swap hellos and sports scores while unloading weapons and prepping their respective ambushes?

This is doubtless why they rejected my application to Criminal Mastermind School. No one ever wants to answer the hard questions.

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One comment

  1. At what point does the madness end? ‘Cause, eventually, someone’s camped out in a tree with an Uzi, a thermos of coffee, and a sleeping bag.
    I am absolutely loving this image. Every time I start loathing the assignments I have to do tonight, I pick a different canon and start imagining various characters in trees with Uzis and coffee. The Professionals, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars…
    (Wes changed out the Uzi for a blastsword and the coffee for some Lomin Ale. With any luck, he’ll get drunk and shoot the plotbunny I now have…)



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